Showing posts with label yahoo sports. Show all posts
Showing posts with label yahoo sports. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Real Woman

She married and had 13 children. Her husband died.

She married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died.

But, she remarried and this time had 5 more children.

Alas, she finally died.

Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her.

He thanked The Lord for this very loving woman and said, "Lord, they're finally together."

One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend,
"Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?"

The friend replied, "I think he means her legs."

Real-time scores, schedules, and breaking news for the MLB, NFL, MLS and college football with Yahoo! Toolbar for Sports


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Tuesday, September 7, 2010

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Larry?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'



Larry watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter, asked Larry 'Giving up?'



The math teacher saw that Larry wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, 'Larry! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?' Larry quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!'





Larry's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him. Larry asked,"Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture ? "



Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Larry asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Larry, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom ....'



If this brightened your day, don't let it stop here. Pass it on with a smile. Keep spreading the cheer! Pass on to your friends!

I LIKE THE NEW YAHOO TOOLBAR
Real-time scores, schedules, and breaking news for the MLB, NFL, MLS and college football with Yahoo! Toolbar for Sports